When it comes to leadership, a fine line can exist between confidence and egotism.

Certainly, everyone has an ego and we would achieve little in life if there wasn’t a part of us filled with the conviction that we can tackle the challenges before us.

But unfortunately, sometimes things get out of hand. When a leader has an outsized ego, that can result in the entire team’s morale slumping, with some people beating a hasty retreat and seeking better opportunities elsewhere.

There are other negative impacts on the organization as well. One study revealed that not only are narcissistic leaders less collaborative and less ethical, but the cultures of the organizations they lead also are less collaborative and ethical.

In other words, the bad example those egotistical leaders set permeates everything within the culture.

So it’s important for everyone involved that leaders keep their egos in check even as they exude the confidence that’s needed to inspire those around them. With that in mind, here are a few things leaders need to know about out-of-control egos – and how to correct those problems:

• Ego can make you think of your needs over others. Leaders with big egos are caught up in their own importance, and that can make them blind to the team’s importance. If you see your team’s needs as inconsequential, it’s time to re-evaluate both them and yourself. As a veteran, I can tell you that the military tries to instill in people right from the start the importance of the team because lives depend on how well you work together. Lives may not be on the line at your business or organization, but how the team functions is on the line. And if your ego prevents you from conveying to team members how important they are, and that you care about their needs, the entire enterprise can suffer.
• Ego can cause you to devalue those around you – at a cost. Sometimes people with big egos build themselves up by tearing others down. If members of your team are made to feel that they can do no right, that they aren’t valued, then their self esteem will wane. (I can remember seeing women in the military struggle when they were made to feel that they didn’t belong or that they weren’t qualified.) It’s hard for people to perform at their best when their self esteem is low. Certainly, if team members aren’t performing up to the job’s specifications they need to be corrected and told how to improve. But view this as an opportunity to build them up rather than tear them down.
• Ego can keep you from admitting you don’t know everything.  When you see yourself as always right and everyone else always wrong, then you aren’t likely to demonstrate to your team that you value their input. And people want to feel that they are being heard. Let go of the notion that you have to be the smartest person in the room and that you need to know everything to be a great leader. As your leadership responsibilities grow and become increasingly more complex, become comfortable being more of a generalist. Rely on those who work for you as the specialists and lead them in the direction you want them to go.

Maintaining the right amount of ego can be a balancing act. After all, a certain degree of ego is a good thing because it gives you the confidence to soar and to make the tough decisions your job requires.

Just be careful that it’s not allowed to balloon out of control.

About Barbara Bell

Barbara Bell (www.captainbarbarabell.com), author of  Flight Lessons: Navigating Through Life’s Turbulence and Learning to Fly High, was one of the first women to graduate from the U.S. Naval Academy and the U.S. Naval Test Pilot School. Now she works to empower the next generation of female leaders. In 1992, Bell and fellow aviators went to Capitol Hill to help successfully repeal the combat exclusions laws, opening up combat aircraft and ships to women in the military. Bell holds a B.S. in systems engineering from the United States Naval Academy, an M.S. in astronautical engineering from the Naval Postgraduate School, an M.A. in theology from Marylhurst University, and a doctorate in education from Vanderbilt University. She is an adjunct professor of leadership at Vanderbilt.

Being an effective leader requires numerous attributes, but which side of the brain is most important in connecting with today’s workplace?

One thing seems certain: Leaders using one hemisphere of their brain almost exclusively may not command the room like they used to.

Though business leadership for decades has leaned toward left-brain thinking – the analytical, process-oriented and unemotional side – studies show the growing importance for  leaders to tap more into the right part of the brain, where creativity, empathy and intuition are housed.

Giving more priority to right-brain thinking is critical because compassion is one of the core leadership elements necessary in a complex and volatile age, says Tramico Herman (www.tramicoherman.com), author of The Crux Of Care Management: Steps to Managed Care and Patient-Centric Service Excellence for Leaders.

“When leaders infuse compassion, they can transform their leadership and workforce,” says Herman, who has supported Fortune 100 health plans and providers as a director, senior project manager and principal consultant. “We’ve gotten away from compassion and taken the human side out. Without it, we’re not treating employees holistically. The result is employees are overstressed, feel unappreciated and get burned out.

“Most leaders are conditioned by the left brain and the bottom line, an approach fueled by our male hierarchy society. Learning about right-brain traits is viewed as weakness. They dismiss the caring and nurturing side. But employees who believe management cares about them as a whole person are more productive and fulfilled, which means happy customers and profitability. We must bring the word ‘human’ into human relations and think of our team as another family.”

 Herman says it’s essential for leaders to spend time with team members, get to know them on a personal level and establish relationships. She offers these five questions for leaders to ask employees in informal one-on-one meetings:

• Tell me about yourself outside of work. Herman says such a discussion levels the playing field as the leader shows interest in the person’s life. “As they tell their story, encourage them to recollect statements about family/friends,” she says. “Usually someone from their family or close-friend circle motivates them. Be patient and let them answer in entirety. This question sets the stage for building immediate trust because they have shared some precious things about themselves and will feel gratitude by you taking interest and listening.”
• What are your personal goals for the next few months? Many leaders focus on long-term goals associated with their organization, but it’s best to meet team members where they are, Herman says. Their answers to this question could run the gamut. They might say that they plan to move into a new apartment, or they need to care for aging parents, or they are trying to get caught up financially. “Your responses as a leader are critical, showing you  care, and allowing you to get them connected to internal and external resources,” Herman says.
• How do you feel about the support you’re receiving from your leaders and peers? Herman says leaders should use caution with this question. “Team members may be intimidated by your role and uncomfortable with transparency,” she says. “Prior to asking them this question, let them know you understand everyone has opportunities for growth. Make them feel comfortable. Without complete disclosure, improvements will be limited.”
• What are your expectations of me? “It’s refreshing for the leader to hear comments aligned with how the employee envisions you caring for them and supporting them as a whole person,” Herman says. “This is a big part of rapport-building. Ideally, mutual trust has been established with the first couple of questions and the team member is comfortable expanding on the question.”
• Do you feel like you have what you need to do your job? “You will learn a lot with this question,” Herman says. “Training deficits are common in many industries when management feels strapped for time and resources. With so many people leaving jobs today, employees need to know management will go the extra mile to give them the tools they need.”

“If a leader makes their best, consistent effort to establish relationships with their team, they’ll be recognized as a fair, caring leader,” Herman says. “They’ll be honored to work for you and drive the mission, and it will lead to relationships of longevity.”

About Tramico Herman

Tramico Herman (www.tramicoherman.com) is author of The Crux Of Care Management: Steps to Managed Care and Patient-Centric Service Excellence for Leaders. She began her nursing career leading medical-surgical and intensive care units, then transitioned to healthcare administration with a focus on care management. Herman advanced to leadership roles while developing strategies for processes improvements, reducing employee turnover and supporting recruitment and quality compliance with executive leaders. She holds an MBA in project management and became a consultant for various Fortune 100 health plans and providers.